My new date....

I am dating java these days....I never thought i would do so...and I never wanted to do so....not in my wierdest of thoughts.....but you know relationships are made in heaven....it is a roller coaster ride, i must admit but....sometimes i feel we can be together..sometimes i feel i need to call it quits....we are both just being together for the heck of it...no feelings left!
this is the irony of life...you get to do things you don't want to....
and what more...it has started affecting me mentally too!! You know what when i sleep and the so called 'sweet dream' starts...i first import it from util package!!!...some time times the background of the dream is "eclipse"...and it was hieghts today!!!! When I got up today I was searching for 'Run As' option in my mobile!!

Chhota Kashmir

This serene place is a lake near Chhota Kashmir. Chhota Kashmir is a garden situated in Aarey Colony. Not many people in mumbai know about it....I did boating here, for the first time.....

I am actually doing many things for the first time here......

saw sea for the first time....ate the "Burf ka Gola" for the first time..... :)

This is it for today. Will keep updating...:)

Void....

The theory(or parody)off the divine terrorist( by Rohit Raju ;) )

Every other day we read articles about the discrimination within societies be it blacks and whites, asians and europeans or christians and muslims.But people tend to ignore the root cause of discrimination.we all meetdifferent people but then you have (one in a million) somebody who is actually different.
Here is theory- If God had 100 units of brain and 100 units of beauty for every 100 people,you have somebody who steals 50 units of each and so the unfortunate 99 are left with 50 units of each.
So, now we know whom to blame. I believe i've put the columnists out of their misery.All thanks to the divine terrorist.

P.S- I have not made any change in his theory and he is yet to explain this to me completely :).

The Theory of three birds by Rohit Raju:)

There is lot that can be told about, in spite of the very little that is happening in my life( because all that is happening these days is 'Technical' training). But of course there is change of place, change of faces around me. The entire set is new. Many other things have changed too. I have become sincere. And yes few of my friends are teaching me the “art of behaving like a girl” which they feel is the success mantra for any girl. He he ;) Well how well do I follow them is a different story. I will keep these mantras for some other post. Anyways, what inspired me to blog today are two things:
1. An enlightening conversation with this softspoken gentleman named Rohit Raju, who happens to be with me in office.
2. The confusion between the HR and the training centre that ended up with us having this most precious free time during our training period.
Confusion is good!
Well Rohit told me about his ‘Theory of Three Birds’ previously but I had the privilege to actually hear it all, today. And I guess it is worth sharing here :)
According to him there are three birds in a man’s life that are most dear to him.
He explained it to me with an example that says suppose you have three pens- one Reynolds, one Parker and one Pierre Cardin. You use the first the most and with the least care. The second is reserved for special ‘occasions of writing’. The third one is the most precious to you amongst the three and requires extra care! You do not give it to anybody and take pride in owning it. The ‘three pens’ are the three birds in this example.
Any guesses what the three birds are in a men’s life. Here it goes- The first and the most roughly treated bird is the chicken that you(for guys of course) eat! .Poor Bird!
The second Bird is the vehicle that you own…your car…or your bike…It is of course close to your heart and requires maintenance.
Now the third and the most important of all and the most difficult to keep is a girl!! You don’t want to share her of course ;). And maintenance?? Do I need to elaborate!
Lucky Bird! ;)
Well interesting Mr. Rohit!!!
“ Looking forward to learn some more theories from you :).
And I would not tell anybody the exact number of birds you have ;).But wishing you all the three :).
Well but there is a little grouse that you do not have a similar theory for girls. (I have suggested him a name but will not put it here because few guys might get pissed off.)”


P.S- To know more of his theories keep coming to my blog. :)

Random

Shit!! I don't believe I am actually blogging from a cafe!! Well I am short of time....so I will keep it short and simple today. I am in mumbai...The city looks good rather the city from office to home and back looks good.....i haven't been to any other place yet...:)....I am not missing delhi as of now...the company is cool...the people are cool....some good looking girls in our batch and some good looking guys in the other...he he....the grass is always greener on the other side you see....yes i had the vada pao today...no comments on that....there is a cat that sits outside the subway near my office...whenever i pass it, it is there...sleeping....I was thinking of informing India Tv they will make a good news out of it... ;)....this is what you call random....there is much more to write that can make sense...but i cannot make sense when i am short of time.. ;)

Will write better things next time... :)

Should Prostitution be Legalized in India?

I was actually looking for this piece of writing for many days. Finally, I got it inside a forgotten file. I gave this debate in UCMS, Delhi ( and won third prize for it :)). The topic of the day was – ‘ Should prostitution be legalized in India? ‘ . The debate witnessed a decent number of participants with varied styles. Moreover, I have always liked participating in UCMS. It being a medical college, chooses bold and important topics and people actually speak maturely and responsibly. Here it goes:

Imagine we legalize prostitution in India. You walk in a narrow lane of Chandni Chowk and you see a board that says ‘Bunty da Brothel’ with a rate list with special discount on women above 30!
New Arrivals Reshma…Bubly…Rosy….
Imagine huge hue and cry every now and then over measures by Indian Prostitution Standardization committee(IPSC ;) ).
Alright, now may be this was an exaggeration. It won’t be that weird. But it won’t be less!
The three keywords here are ‘Legalized’, ‘Prostitution’ and ‘India’. Had it been the former two I might have differed. But the inclusion of ‘India’ makes it a different ball game altogether. To know ‘why’, let us look at it in the reverse order.
We are Indians. Right ? We are not in Denmark, not in Thailand, not in Malasia! We are middle class, lower class, urban, rural Indians.
When we see an advertisement of condom with our family we change the channel!
We are boys who never talk about condoms to our dads! We are girls who never talk about contraceptives to our mothers!
We are an oversensitive moral policing brigade. We are Shivsena…We are VHP….We are Bajrangdal. We cannot tolerate a Sania Mirza wearing a short skirt!
We are still debating whether sex education should be provided in schools.
We are a nation that is still ‘evolving’!

PROSTITUTION:
Is it a profession, a taboo, or is it something that we think only others sisters would do? Is it the dark filthy lane where you think your son, brother, husband, or father had never been to!
It is definitely something that exists and helps to transmit sexually transmitted diseases.
It not only gives a girl some easy money to buy herself exotic jewelry but also gives money to a poor mother to feed her child. It is something into which an innocent girl is forced by pimps. And it is also something that countries like Malasia do for tourism!
And since it is one or all of the above, it needs legalization for the following reasons:
1.To reduce sexually transmitted diseases.
2.To stop exploitation of prostitutes.
3.To earn in form of taxes and from tourism.
But what happens when the same is legalized in India?
It fails to spend on the HIV testing of the prostitutes. It also fails in bringing in a proper infrastructure that requires a lot of planning and money.
Secondly, the prostitute does not get the dignity of labor in a society like ours.
Infact , many more innocent girls are now forced into prostitution without pimps having any fear of being caught, since it is now legal!
Thirdly: Now come on! We won’t do it for tourism! That is so UnIndian!
See who goes to a prostitute- a married or an unmarried man( obviously!!there is no third kind of man Rupali;) )
In India both pre-marital sex and extra-marital sex are a strict no-no. Legalizing it will be like giving a moral approval to sex with someone else than you wife. And this India will never give because of its social structure and cultural values.
Everything that has the capacity to become an issue becomes one and gives us the opportunity to burn buses and effigies.
We are diverse, complex and sensitive. We aren’t ready for too many things yet. We have to learn ‘n’ number of things before legalizing ‘prostitution’!
We have to discuss, debate and resolve many other issues before we come to prostitution.
We have to learn to tolerate each other before we think of tolerating prostitution!

P.S: 1. All characters in this debate are fictitious and bear no resemblance to anybody living or dead! ;)
2. Special thanks to Sadaf, Sid, Deepak and Yashasvi who helped me prepare this write-up. Thanks a lot guys for your suggestions and ideas :).

The missing "wow"!

Few days to go and I will be joining Iflex solutions( now Oracle Financial Services :)) in its Mumbai Office. I will be laving my place on 16th. All I do these days is to surf 99acres.com and hope that I chance upon some really cheap accommodation.. ;) I am being unrealistic I know.
Software is not exactly what I want to do or feel like doing. Nonetheless I will be doing this for quite some time from now. The industry is facing bad times and most of my friends are still waiting for their joining dates. I have been lucky that I had it on time. Moreover I am going to Mumbai and will now be able to compare Delhi and Mumbai, like most of the people who know both cities do. ;) And hey Meenal I am sure I would still be on Delhi’s side :)
But then, there is hardly any feeling of excitement. I am not even sad that I am leaving home or that the college has ended. As if what is the big deal!! This is something very predictable. It had to occur. Is it the predictability that makes me neutral?? But I remember being excited about coming into a new class in school…about seeing the same faces again in some new class….about facing the first day in college….When one of my favorite teacher left school when I was in class 7th , I wept hard and gave her a seven pages letter…;) The ability to feel the due excitement or sadness has vanished somehow now. All that I feel is “what is the big deal!! “:) After all, this is not the first time I will face a change.

But this is slightly worrying me. It is like even the good things seem like tasting an insipid coffee. You don’t want to lose the flavor of course….
Things are not making me feel like ”wow!”
This phase is boring when you are sad for nothing and happy for nothing.
Anyways not to mention there is a hectic schedule waiting for me out there and I might be absent from the blogosphere for some time. (not necessarily though :))
And if anybody has a pill to make me feel the “wow effect” please inform… ;)

Huh!

I heard one of my acquaintances joking a few days back – “The costliest thing Manmohan singh has is Gulshan Kaur!
While the NDA was busy in mudslinging him and his party, the poor man kept his calm.
He could not even do the “Thumbs up” act properly when his thumb came back from halfway. The parliament was worth watching. The IPL, India-Pakistan match, cheerleaders, nothing could have beaten it.
‘Democracy’ we call it! Rahul Gandhi calls it our true power…that everybody can speak here. I hope he was just being sarcastic!(His speech was a breeze, though interrupted)
I remained glued to the television yesterday to witness the high drama, excitement, thrill and yes not to mention the versatile villains and vampires. The speaker, like a class teacher, used all sorts of verbal weapons. But the other side was immune. He called it shameless, expressed agony and used all sort of pejorative remarks in his own acerbic style. But the house saw no decorum and no respect at all! They were wild!
Any Indian who saw the political drama yesterday would have been seething with anger. If they are who represent us, we are doomed .And if people do research on how we have survived 60 years of democracy, there is nothing surprising. We are actually doing wonders!


P.S: Lalu should log on to monster.com. He is caught in the wrong job and should rather go in the laughter challenge.

Uncluttered :)

I deleted all the conversations from my mailbox today….everything…the good….the bad….the best….the worst …without any partiality… It feels great . I bought few poster colors, few brushes and few sheets. And with nothing in my mind I just started drawing...I finally ended up drawing a few squares and a few absurd figures which I do not recognize. Then I picked up the brush and started coloring it. My mom found it a useless piece. She said “You are drawing like a kid!”. “That is what I wanted to feel like for now”- I said.

P.S: Gmail says- “No conversations in the Trash. Who needs to delete when you have over 2000 MB of storage?! “ But believe me, it is still advisable to throw the garbage!

Nothing much..;)

There are two reasons why my blog remained dormant for such a long time:
The idea of stepping out of the house, walking a kilometer to the nearest café, waiting in a queue for half an hour and then posting something here appeared preposterous!
Secondly and more importantly I had nothing to write. ;)
Yeah…I tried …looked at ceiling through the rotating fan….out of the window…from the balcony…but nothing ‘philosophical’ came out of it. ;)

There are few reasons why I am blogging :
Most of my friends who blog have been doing so religiously.
I fear losing the 1 or 2 readers I have.
Sid asked me to do so!
Sid also had nothing to write but still managed to write two post out of ‘nothing’ ;)( to verify go to- sh-ithappens.blogspot.com ;))

Why we should still write when we have nothing at all to write?:
When you have nothing to write, you actually write about ‘nothing’. ’ Nothing’ is in itself a great word. Nobody knows it, but everybody uses it.
You see someone quiet and upset, and ask him “Hey what have you been thinking?”
He laconically replies” Nothing”.
You scrap a friend “hey what’s up? Howz life? Blah blah…
He replies back-“nothing much…u temme..” ;)
You write a mushy SMS to your boyfriend and wait for a deserving reply and he replies ”Nothing”.
You see, ‘nothing’ has the power to end it all and nothing has the power to start it again!

Why should you read it?
Well you already read it. So I guess you don’t need a reason anymore ;).

Sid I did it too!!! Yuppie!! ;)

I take it.. :)

I have always been loved and liked a lot….may be because we were three people in the family and I was the only kid!...in school too I was liked by teachers as well as friends......I hated not been liked. If anybody spoke anything against me or gave any hint of disliking I would sulk in acute depression.
The bottom line is that I was unable to take any sort of criticism.
But thankfully college provided me a few people who by and by actually started disliking me to the extent of hating me, for reasons which are beyond me.
And now finally I have actually learned to take it all…I am thankful to these people from the bottom of my heart for feeling so strongly for me. ;) ;)

The only call of the season...

There is more to write about the talkative Indians. But before that I would like to post my recent GD/PI experience at IMT. For those of you who are curious ( ??) to know my CAT results, I must tell you that all I had this year was an IMT Nagpur call. Expecting to get a 95-97 percentile and a score of 19-28 in English, I was surprised to get 4 marks :). All I got was a 90.01 with a low verbal i.e 38 percentile. CAT says I am bad at English. I disagree though ;). XAT was a relief with 96.4.
But then as I said the only call I had was from IMT Nagpur. I did not take it seriously and did no preparation. But the day before the GD/ PI, I was worried. Converting it will not be a matter of great happiness, but not converting it will make me feel too bad.
I reached IMT Ghaziabad, changing autos, quite on time. I was not feeling very comfortable in the formals because I borrowed them from a junior and they were quite loose for me. Two things I learned were - wear your own clothes and carry a deodrant!

The GD started at around 2 p.m. There were 3 people in the panel – one from KPMG, one from IT, and one lady from commerce background. There were 10 people in the group - 4 from commerce, 1 from arts and others were engineers. They gave us time to interact before the actual GD started. The topic for the GD was – Consumer is the GOD of today’s market. I did decently in the GD, though not outstandingly well. It was followed by a monologue for 1 minute which I kind of screwed. I fumbled as I started and till I warmed up and recovered, the man in the panel rang the bell! They asked us to write a summary of the whole thing in 5 minutes.
Then came the interview. Here it goes:

I1: You played national level in badminton ( thanks to U.P.T.U for conducting that sport event and granting me a national level certificate ;)). Why didn’t you choose sports as career?
Me: (felt like he he ha ha…) Sir, sports as a career option is not too promoted in India.( as if had it been so I would have become the Shariapova of badminton ;) )Moreover, it was a mixed doubles match, so the credit goes to my partner too.( I am modest)
I1: But since you were also a part you share the credit too!
I2: Are you placed? Which company?
Me: Yes Sir. I am placed in I-Flex.
I2: You have a low verbal score. Why don’t you devote some more time and efforts this year? Why MBA at this point?
Me: Well, sir being a girl I have to take care of lot many things. I want to do certain things before my parents want me to do them.
I1:(laughs) that is a smart answer.( looked convinced that I don’t want to give CAT again!)
I3: Ohkkk…so what is your take on women managers?
Me: Maam, to be honest, I sometimes wonder how will I strike balance between my work and family. My mother says that it is rather important to find a suitable guy than doing an MBA. But I think I can perhaps leave my job if my family suffers, but I cannot leave the degree at this point of time. This is something I will possess for life.
I2: (nods) yeah…so the degree will be a permanent asset…
I3: (smiles) And the guy wont be a permanent asset!!
Me: (smiling)
I2: Rupali, but why suddenly MBA after your B.Tech.
Me: It isn’t sudden at all Sir. Infact whether it was school or college I was always managing things. I worked for this literary society in college for 3 years and now I am its president. I was also the Head girl in my school. I was always doing n number of things simultaneously!
I2:Your academics aren’t too good.
Me: That is because I was too involved in other activities. Infact the drastic fall you look in my 2nd year marks was because I participated in everything possible in that year!( Oh no…he didn’t notice it before…he didn’t even ask me....why did I say this at all! And I won’t stop here.:)) I was playing badminton in may be Agra or Bareily or may taking part in a ramp show!
I2: so basically you had fun :)
Me: ( yeah you are right…I was actually having fun). I think I learned a lot from all that.
I1: But management is all about multitasking. This is no excuse.
Me: Sir, I agree. You can look at my third year marks. I eventually learned to manage and got a decent score again.
I1: Your role in GD was too confusing. You made 4-5 good points but you were never able to steer the direction of the GD to your side. What do you have to say about that?
Me: Yes, probably I wasn’t able to steer the direction of the GD but never in the GD did I feel that I was not involved. Infact , when I was not speaking I was actually consistently listening to what others said. Moreover, I was geographically well located ( they smiled) and therefore I was kind of serving as a bridge!
I1: so you blog…What do you blog about?
Me: Sir, I blog about abstract things….about what I see in my daily life…for example it can be something related to how people converse in a passenger train.
I1: What will you write about today’s GD?
Me: I will probably write about the informal promises that were made before the GD started that we won’t make it a fish market. The calm faces of the people made me wonder if they will speak at all. But as soon as the bell rang, they sprouted with ideas!

There were few more questions I do not remember. But they seemed happy with me. Even if they do not select me I think they enjoyed the conversation, and not to mention, I enjoyed it too.
Oh I didn’t tell you about this guy from bangalore who was sitting next to me in the GD. He was fantastic in the GD. I went to congratulate him for his performance which resulted in a further conversation and much more…..I will write about it in my next post which will be a continuation of “Being talkative”.

Being talkative!

(Me: Is there any other way to reach there? I don’t mind if it is longer!
X:Yeah… you can take a bus, but that will consume a lot of your time. )
See, I can run after DTC buses, change buses, go to places I have never been earlier… But sophisticated things like a metro with doors that open and close themselves send jitters into me.
But then there is no other option today. I will have to use the ‘great’ metro. I am worried. Last time I travelled in a metro was with a friend who managed everything while I kept wondering why I was so bad at reading maps.
Anyways, here comes bus no. 355. The conductor is shouting – ‘bags under the seats…’ Within sometime the narrow aisle will be jam packed with passengers rubbing with each other. Only thing that will be in your mind from now on will be that howsoever close they are, you still have to ‘somehow’ manage to take yourself out.
It wasn’t that difficult for me though. Four years of college are enough to teach you certain things.
Oh yes, I am confident. Barakhamba to Rajeev chowk, Rajeev chowk to vishvavidayalay…just two metros and I will be there. I will also take help from the map. In worst cases I will ask someone. This has been a technique I have always been using to find places. But even that is not again a very comfortable option for me, especially when someone replies something like – go straight, when the third red light comes, take a left , then take a right from the second red light and then blah blah…. I pretend as if I will remember verbatim was is said. But inside I say to myself – Rupali, go straight, reach the first red light and ask someone again.
Hey, by the way, it wasn’t difficult at all. I am inside the metro!
………………………
……………………….
The day was good and I am waiting for the metro at vishvavidayalaya to go back. “Excuse me, what should I do to reach New Delhi station”. I turn back to find a south Indian guy clad in saffron. His voice is quite a whisper. Perhaps, he does not want anybody else to know about his ignorance. But then to be true, someone asking such a question that too in a metro station is certainly an honor. I can not understand what he wants to convey though and therefore I will better direct him to a girl who is looking more familiar with the place.
All three of us- the ‘guy’, the ‘gal’ and me are inside the metro. The guy is sitting next to the girl. The girl is all dressed in pink…pink shirt…pink lipstick…pink hand bag, pink hairclips. I am not able to make out what exactly they are talking. He is explaining something to her and she is nodding. Suddenly she looks at me and mutters “ Who the hell is he?”. She again turns towards the pundit.
Hey the guy is gone and I will talk to the pink girl now.
Me: (smiling) How was it?
PG: kahan phansa diya the yar…chat mara pundit ne!
Me: My station is about to come. Tell me what he was talking about.
PG: He was from Sri lanka…came to meet his friend from Chennai and got lost…
By the way, how come you are here?
Me: You are talking as if you know me from ages. Anyways I came here to collect my admit card for fms.
………..
………..
Me: I am travelling in the metro by my own for the first time.
PG: So you aren’t any better than the pundit.
Me: You seemed interested in the pundit. Anyways, nice meeting you Lovleen!
PG: same here Rupali.


Indians are talkative. The can talk at practically all places and all times, with or without any good reason. Travel in a daily passenger train and you will know!
An elderly woman is telling somebody that she buys milk at 20 Rs per kg. Suddenly this skinny woman, sitting besides her, waiting for an opportunity to interrupt, will say with utmost pride“ I get it for only 15 Rs per kg” . This very ‘numerical’ conversation will then shift to how she always bathes in cold water even in winters without a miss or how she is always alert so as to never let her little son piss on the bed.
The other woman will then nod in appreciation and will even encourage her by pointing to how modern women use ‘huggies’ for their children. They will now discuss in ‘detail’ how ‘suffocating’ huggies can be to children and can lead to ‘further’ problems. While this desultory conversation keeps shifting, there will be a group of men busy talking about how far the crossing is, how many sugar mills the area has and what is the ongoing price of ganna, or how far the road is from the railway line.


To be continued……..

City of Angels

What's it like?
What?
Warmth.
It's wonderful.
If you'd known this was going to happen...
...would you have done it?
I would rather have had...
...one breath of her hair...
...one kiss of her mouth...
...one touch of her hand.
...then an eternity without it.
One.

The 'NIGHT'...

So I am blogging....I am blogging on the night before CAT...not for any other reason but because I have nothing else to do....yesterday my mom called to wish me, because she didn't want to disturb me today(???) :)...
" so are you prepared?" she asked.
"No" came a terse reply.
" o..how will you manage in a day then!!" (mom).
I smiled and said "mom, it cannot be managed now!".
And then we both laughed.... :)...for the past 4 or 5 hours i have just switched off my cell to avoid all the "best of lucks".....sorry guys...had to do that else everytime you wish me luck, I feel I have to go on a war tomorrow.....
Apart from this CAT stuff things are going pretty fine...there is no backlog of movies....enjoying some good music...chatting with friends....sleeping...orkutting...blogging....dreaming..dreaming of doing this and that....dreaming of being at places....dreaming of making it big....and yes waiting..waiting for this B.tech to get over...there is not much left here to learn.. he he...
Anyways, i guess I should sleep now.... guys all the best for tomorrow....

P.S - This a sheer piece of crap....

It could be just anything that makes you smile ....it can be the silliest or wierdest thing..like the one liners written at the back of a truck.....apart from the usual ones like - 'horan pelease' and 'buri nazar wale, tera muh kala', here is one more I saw yesterday---
'latak mat, patak dunga! '

Not dumb anymore!

There is a lot of silence around me. Most of the people in the hostel have left for home to celebrate diwali. I am kind of enjoying this time.
I enjoyed the small chat with sadaf, in the mess, today. She told me about her childhood days, how she missed her grandma after she died. She was eight and a half then.

My childhood was the best period of my life till know and I guess will always remain so. And now when I look back at that time, I laugh upon myself and wonder - Omy God! What a dumb child I was….

We lived in an old government quarter with walls that were painted yellow. It was located in a farm with all those fields planted with ‘barseem’, ‘sarso’, ‘ganna’ and yes ‘munji’. The time they planted munji was the best time because that time the field was watered most. It was like a pseudo-little-river for me…..

Naniji would make me sit near her and study while she cooked food on her ‘chulha’.
All my attention would remain on the wood that was burning inside.. :)
To escape studies I sometimes hid behind the same ‘chulha’. Naniji made a song out of it.—
‘lado beti ladli..
chulhe peeche gadli…
jab ji chaha nikal li…’

These village songs…rather folk songs you call them…I have heard a lot of them. I still hear them from her.
I was in class fourth…we had a dance competition in our school. I cursed both of them for not buying me a ‘tape recorder’. ‘how do I participate now?’ I shouted. Naniji came with an instant solution. She taught me a folk song which was something like---

‘gazar ka halwa laya mera piya…..’

I sung it myself and danced on it while everybody laughed on me. :)
But I still believe I was the best…. :)
When ‘teez’ came, nanaji would make a ‘jhoola’ exclusive for the cinderella that was me….and while I enjoyed the swing both of them would sing the ‘teez special’---

‘ kachhe neem ki nimboli, saawan jaldi aiyo re…
dada door mat bihaiyo, dadi nahi bulane ki….
Mama door mat bihaiyo, mami nahi bulani ki…
……
……
……
And I would desperately wait for the line—
Nana door mat bihaiyo, nani nahi bulane ki….

Nanaji called naniji by her name 'shiksha'.
And I used to think that every man in this world calls her wife as ‘shiksha’. I never knew it was her name. I mean she was ‘amma’! thats it!..why did she need a name!
(it was much later that I was ‘informed’ that I was just too stupid!)

And yes that poor old black and white 36 years old television that introduced me to vyomkesh bakshi...potli baba ki…vikram betal….alif laila …I loved them all…..

When we got a phone connection I was given the privilege to make the first call. I called my friend just to know if she has taken my ’50 paisa’ pencil with her!
I was so enthusiastic every small thing that was brought into the house.
I was the happiest person on earth when we got a refrigerator. After all I would not rush with that 25 paisa coin to buy that small piece of ‘burf’ for my ‘rasna’.
That was my little paradise..and was the only princess… :)
I thought I was the most beautiful girl on earth. And when I came in class 5th I strongly felt that I should be take to a ‘parlour’ instead of the ‘local nai’.
And I hate that sick teacher who failed me in poem recitation. I mean how can you fail someone in that small an age!...i was just in K.G then!
(* That was the only time I failed before coming to college!)

ahh…I guess I can write pages on that….

Now I keep telling them that I have grown and matured…I have learned the ways of the world and stuff like that…
But they strongly believe that I was too dumb to improve….
They think their child is the most innocent girl on this earth. I was dumb..alright..but come on…I have come a long way now….see I have my own view points about things..i can argue with them now…I have started liking english numbers…wearing branded stuff….using orkut….i am socially more active then they were at my age!...those folk songs…home stiched frocks….plastic hairbands….they all form a long lost story!....

But then I still miss those fields…the old chulha…the black and white television…the tainted mirror….the yellow walls of the government quarter….and everything that made me dumb!...... :)

These days I desperately want to hear that jagjit singh's ghazal i heard long back....

kyun dare zindgi mein kya hoga.....
kuch na hoga to tazurba hoga!

Contemplate is the word!

You stuck in a stalemate??
Choking eh??
Unhappy?
Talk to somebody.
What? Doesn't help?
Talk to few more people!
Still doesn't work out?

ummm....
Stop!
Stop talking!
Stop running after people!
Relax!
yeah..you can be happy...
Look at the sunshine...
warm eh ??
Play your favourite number...
hmm...dancing again :)
crack that old poor joke...
lauging out loud??
Good.

Well now look inside...
o o...that needs immediate treatment...
Take a deep breath...close your eyes...Remember all good things in life....
Feel at peace....Calm??
Hey look..its there!...happyness!..how dumb of you...It was there at the first place...
You just needed to contemplate!
And hey love yourself before you love anybody else....
Good luck! :)