I m nostalgic...

2011-09-13T07:02:00.000-07:00

I wrote 'XIMB' on my blog and I couldn't write anything else after that....

2010-06-01T07:53:00.001-07:00

XIMB!!!

2010-05-14T06:44:00.000-07:00

You cannot feel other than how you feel, no matter how much you long for different better emotions...We are slaves of our own flesh.

- The Perfect Sleep

WTH

2009-07-24T22:47:00.000-07:00

I just detest to see a shobha de article in the newspaper(TOI). I hate TOI for the fact that she has a column there. She has no respect for the language and uses it as her blog space...huh.. Does she think she can write any crap and readers would appreciate? (She looks like a writer though, with her mumbai-junk-loud jewelry). Can someone tell her to get a life??

I love Mumbai..but...

2009-06-07T07:26:00.000-07:00

If you know Mumbai, you know local...and if you are female, you know how nasty another female could be when she in that ‘Kewal mahilaye’ dabba. I remember running after a local when one of the four of us suddenly made her mind to catch the train (for dadar). Rest of her followed her excellence. I had a tough time trying to ‘load’ a not-so –light lady into the train. She had already succeeded in pushing her daughter and a woman inside, but fell herself on her knees. I was sincerely trying to get her up but she was not making enough effort except remembering Allah. You already know that she was not-so-light. The two people who were with her had already boarded the train and were also crying for help to Allah. I am not sure if Allah sent him for them but he came running, picked her legs, literally threw her inside the train and went off running. I took a sigh of relief only to hear her excellence telling me- hey we are in the wrong train.
When I came to Mumbai and went for the first local ride, i had to let go three trains before i made up my mind that come what may I am going by the third one.
I remember one of my trainers in i-flex quoting that if you could get on the first local, you are fit for Mumbai. And literally there are times when you are contesting to get your foot on the train with all others who are equally or more competent to get it. And believe the fight is only for a foot and a hand, nothing more, nothing less. If you get hold of that rod and put the first foot in, the second will find its way. :)Some women may try to use your hand or even your neck in place of the rod. You will anyway sort out the thing later. You will hear one of them telling you that she is capable of kicking you. There will be some women who will not even like you to touch them or press against them as if they will instantly get sandwiched. They are the most intolerant of the lot. And yet there will be some who will be smiling at you as if saying- that’s Mumbai...it’s ok...take it easy...it is not all that bad...
Today when I boarded a train from Dadar to Vile Parle, the compartment was crowded like anything. It had everything that could squeeze the life out of you. Of course I was breathing. And this woman with her little son had to get off at Vile Parle too. Let me tell you, if you have to get off at a station, you better plan it well in advance. So when Vile Parle was about the come, and we tried to get near the exit, the little kid was stuck between the ladies. He was crying like anything. His mother could hardly see. She was somehow not bothered about him weeping; she was rather focused to reach the exit. But meanwhile the kid was becoming invisible and more invisible. It was like a stampede for the little kid. I could see his face though. I told him not to weep and that he will have to become like superman to get off the train (I had this idea from some Hollywood/Bollywood movie I guess :D). I think he was convinced as he stopped crying. Then I told him that he should drink more milk to become like superman. And while I was giving him all this gyan I was further pushed. Then one of the ladies, who didn’t like my superman idea, may be, asked-‘Why don’t you pick up the kid?' I had to make it clear to her that see this is not my kid. ‘To kiska hai?’ she spoke in frustration.

Of course everybody eventually succeeded to get off. Only grouse is that the lady had no diffuculty in assuming that I had a kid!! :P

2009-04-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

It has been long that I have blogged. And there is nothing new about it. I am definitely what you call a slow blogger. Past days have been I would say just ok...like they have always been....I just met an old friend...a very old friend indeed....we were together in class 4th..we both are in Mumbai since 7-8 months and were too busy to meet....Thanks to me that we met and I discovered a new friend in an old friend. I have been meeting a lot of my old friends in the past few weeks.
Also these days I am kind of aimless. As in, I always knew what I had to do ‘next’. But these days I have no clue. I have decided to be aimless for the next few months. So now i know that for the next few months my aim is to be aimless.
And I know all that I am writing is not exactly what one would like to read...or something that would logically connect...but then I saw this movie today and I really liked it. This character Miss Morgan of the movie “The mirror has two faces” is adorable...which probably every woman would admire....and the ‘not so pretty females’ will also be able to connect. Well I was able to do both. (Though I strongly believe that I am pretty . :P :P) The most interesting part of the movie for me was when Miss Morgan in one of her lectures discusses love and comes to a conclusion that most of us buy it. We go out for movies...dinners...dates and nurture the thought that we are ‘most probably’ in love or ‘kind of’ love or something very close to it. And thus we buy love ( although she carries the discussion forward in a more interesting manner :P).’ But why do we do we buy it?’ she asks?
‘for the propagation of species’....’because we crave for somebody like us’ blah blah were some of the responses.....And then she says- your answers are too intellectual for me....we all want to fall in love is because it feels freaking great!!
And I guess she is right.
So what do you guys say? :)

sorry for the horror :P

2009-01-30T09:48:00.000-08:00

This happiness is unprecedented. Only a haircut is capable of giving it.
A haircut is an instant escape from your own image and you see yourself in a different light.
My friends were shocked to see how I looked after the creativity of the hair dresser. I just left it to her and she acted as if my skull was her battle ground. We both enjoyed it I guess. She enjoyed the creative freedom and I enjoyed the thought of a new look.
But the reactions of my friends were worth capturing in a glass bottle.
It was the last thing on earth that they expected.
Guys, you might hate it, but ‘I am loving it’.
:P

Damn the hoodlums!

2009-01-29T10:35:00.000-08:00

What happened in Mangalore is highly deplorable. Moral policing and hooliganism has become the way politics is done today in our country. Are they the people with confused value system? Perhaps some of them really are but most of them know that this will help further their political motives.
What is virtue? Is drinking alcohol morally wrong? Yes if a school going kid does so, I would call it wrong. If a middle-aged man who has three daughters to marry does so at the expense of his family’s peace of mind and share of happiness, it certainly is wrong.
But if I am an adult and I am not doing any harm to anyone, taking a peg it not morally wrong.
They don’t decide for us what is “morally right” and what is not! And especially for the women! Kindly let us feel free and let us weigh and consider things on our own. Darn! We have our own minds too.
I don’t think a woman who can have a sip of vodka with her male counterparts is any less homely or less virtuous. I know that alcohol above a certain amount is harmful for health and it harms women more than it harms men. Now I am intelligent enough to make my choice and even if I do not make the right choice, it still has to be my choice anyways!

Yes, do tell the kids what is right and what is not. Tell them that drinking can cause harm to the body and it can lead one to lose control over oneself. That makes it bad. But please don’t confuse them telling that having a ‘sip’ makes them non-virgins in the world of “morality”. And why don’t you tell them not to throw their chocolate wrappers and pepsi bottles on the road. Teach them some patience and tolerance for sure.

And for the politicians –
Do you have any speck of shame in you? Seeing what happened to the girls in Mangalore you still have a face to say that it is the pub culture!!

2009-01-29T10:32:00.001-08:00

"I was thinking about how disjointedly time seemed to flow, passing in a blur at times, with single images standing out more clearly than others. And then, at other times, every second was significant, etched in my mind."

Stephenie Meyer

missing home...

2008-12-30T11:24:00.000-08:00

I imagine you maa, opening the door,smiling and calling my pet name... you could see the flesh i have lost, the dark circles under my eyes and that i havent eaten anything since morning...and all it takes for you is just one look at me....
And then you run to the kitchen to ensure that the boiling milk doesn’t spill out of the pan….I imagine oiling amma’s hair and her knitting, while I do so….
I imagine opening my almirah that contains my school books, drawing copy ,water colours, letters from friends…the old sweaters, discarded shirts and school jacket….the hair clips and bangles….
I imagine lying under the sun, on the cot, till I feel dizzy…doing nothing for the whole day and still feeling great!
I guess I am missing home….

What a wonderful world...

2008-12-25T10:54:00.000-08:00

I see trees of green........
red roses too
I see em bloom.....
for me and for you
And I think to myself....
what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue.....
clouds of white
Bright blessed days....
dark sacred nights
And I think to myself ....
what a wonderful world.

The colors of a rainbow.....
so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces.....
of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....
sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin......i love you.
And I think to myself
what a wonderful world....

I hear babies cry......
I watch them grow
Theyll learn much more....
than Ill never know
And I think to myself ....
what a wonderful world

---Louis Armstrong

2008-11-15T05:02:00.000-08:00

Deja Vu..

....

2008-10-10T13:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever looked from the window and wished to see something else…or had that strange urge to see the sun rising at the midnight…

Some times you just feel like writing…like spilling all the colors on a paper….the thoughts that come into your mind…while traveling in a train…peeping out of the window….before going to sleep…these aren’t the best thoughts may be….but if you could just…on only one day record them in the order of their occurrence somewhere….and your own voice playing the narrator part…
Sometimes you think you are almost there….and keep wondering if you actually wanted to reach there…only if you could start back all again make some changes….and had several of such chances….
Have you ever wished that few of your years were not actually being counted….i mean your age remained same…like say consider a point…everything before and after the point is connected….and you could somehow split it into two, stretch them apart and filled something between…and the things before the first point and after the second point are still connected…the middle thing is just a bonus part which you could fill according to you wish…any colour…any length…lived that length…and the closed the points again without anyone knowing what existed between them….
if you could just know what’s inside someone’s heart, your belief that he was doing things for a reason might have changed…may be he was just being random….may be he was just stretching those two points….and will close them without you even knowing that something existed in between…..

2008-10-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

Some people just do not have the sensitivity.

2008-10-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

Murphy's Law works.

My new date....

2008-09-25T00:10:00.000-07:00

I am dating java these days....I never thought i would do so...and I never wanted to do so....not in my wierdest of thoughts.....but you know relationships are made in heaven....it is a roller coaster ride, i must admit but....sometimes i feel we can be together..sometimes i feel i need to call it quits....we are both just being together for the heck of it...no feelings left!
this is the irony of life...you get to do things you don't want to....
and what more...it has started affecting me mentally too!! You know what when i sleep and the so called 'sweet dream' starts...i first import it from util package!!!...some time times the background of the dream is "eclipse"...and it was hieghts today!!!! When I got up today I was searching for 'Run As' option in my mobile!!

Chhota Kashmir

2008-09-23T05:15:00.001-07:00

This serene place is a lake near Chhota Kashmir. Chhota Kashmir is a garden situated in Aarey Colony. Not many people in mumbai know about it....I did boating here, for the first time.....
I am actually doing many things for the first time here......
saw sea for the first time....ate the "Burf ka Gola" for the first time..... :)
This is it for today. Will keep updating...:)

2008-09-18T13:24:00.000-07:00

Void....

The theory(or parody)off the divine terrorist( by Rohit Raju ;) )

2008-09-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

Every other day we read articles about the discrimination within societies be it blacks and whites, asians and europeans or christians and muslims.But people tend to ignore the root cause of discrimination.we all meetdifferent people but then you have (one in a million) somebody who is actually different.
Here is theory- If God had 100 units of brain and 100 units of beauty for every 100 people,you have somebody who steals 50 units of each and so the unfortunate 99 are left with 50 units of each.
So, now we know whom to blame. I believe i've put the columnists out of their misery.All thanks to the divine terrorist.

P.S- I have not made any change in his theory and he is yet to explain this to me completely :).

The Theory of three birds by Rohit Raju:)

2008-09-09T23:23:00.000-07:00

There is lot that can be told about, in spite of the very little that is happening in my life( because all that is happening these days is 'Technical' training). But of course there is change of place, change of faces around me. The entire set is new. Many other things have changed too. I have become sincere. And yes few of my friends are teaching me the “art of behaving like a girl” which they feel is the success mantra for any girl. He he ;) Well how well do I follow them is a different story. I will keep these mantras for some other post. Anyways, what inspired me to blog today are two things:
1. An enlightening conversation with this softspoken gentleman named Rohit Raju, who happens to be with me in office.
2. The confusion between the HR and the training centre that ended up with us having this most precious free time during our training period.
Confusion is good!
Well Rohit told me about his ‘Theory of Three Birds’ previously but I had the privilege to actually hear it all, today. And I guess it is worth sharing here :)
According to him there are three birds in a man’s life that are most dear to him.
He explained it to me with an example that says suppose you have three pens- one Reynolds, one Parker and one Pierre Cardin. You use the first the most and with the least care. The second is reserved for special ‘occasions of writing’. The third one is the most precious to you amongst the three and requires extra care! You do not give it to anybody and take pride in owning it. The ‘three pens’ are the three birds in this example.
Any guesses what the three birds are in a men’s life. Here it goes- The first and the most roughly treated bird is the chicken that you(for guys of course) eat! .Poor Bird!
The second Bird is the vehicle that you own…your car…or your bike…It is of course close to your heart and requires maintenance.
Now the third and the most important of all and the most difficult to keep is a girl!! You don’t want to share her of course ;). And maintenance?? Do I need to elaborate!
Lucky Bird! ;)
Well interesting Mr. Rohit!!!
“ Looking forward to learn some more theories from you :).
And I would not tell anybody the exact number of birds you have ;).But wishing you all the three :).
Well but there is a little grouse that you do not have a similar theory for girls. (I have suggested him a name but will not put it here because few guys might get pissed off.)”

P.S- To know more of his theories keep coming to my blog. :)

Random

2008-08-23T04:10:00.000-07:00

Shit!! I don't believe I am actually blogging from a cafe!! Well I am short of time....so I will keep it short and simple today. I am in mumbai...The city looks good rather the city from office to home and back looks good.....i haven't been to any other place yet...:)....I am not missing delhi as of now...the company is cool...the people are cool....some good looking girls in our batch and some good looking guys in the other...he he....the grass is always greener on the other side you see....yes i had the vada pao today...no comments on that....there is a cat that sits outside the subway near my office...whenever i pass it, it is there...sleeping....I was thinking of informing India Tv they will make a good news out of it... ;)....this is what you call random....there is much more to write that can make sense...but i cannot make sense when i am short of time.. ;)

Will write better things next time... :)

Should Prostitution be Legalized in India?

2008-08-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

I was actually looking for this piece of writing for many days. Finally, I got it inside a forgotten file. I gave this debate in UCMS, Delhi ( and won third prize for it :)). The topic of the day was – ‘ Should prostitution be legalized in India? ‘ . The debate witnessed a decent number of participants with varied styles. Moreover, I have always liked participating in UCMS. It being a medical college, chooses bold and important topics and people actually speak maturely and responsibly. Here it goes:

Imagine we legalize prostitution in India. You walk in a narrow lane of Chandni Chowk and you see a board that says ‘Bunty da Brothel’ with a rate list with special discount on women above 30!
New Arrivals Reshma…Bubly…Rosy….
Imagine huge hue and cry every now and then over measures by Indian Prostitution Standardization committee(IPSC ;) ).
Alright, now may be this was an exaggeration. It won’t be that weird. But it won’t be less!
The three keywords here are ‘Legalized’, ‘Prostitution’ and ‘India’. Had it been the former two I might have differed. But the inclusion of ‘India’ makes it a different ball game altogether. To know ‘why’, let us look at it in the reverse order.
We are Indians. Right ? We are not in Denmark, not in Thailand, not in Malasia! We are middle class, lower class, urban, rural Indians.
When we see an advertisement of condom with our family we change the channel!
We are boys who never talk about condoms to our dads! We are girls who never talk about contraceptives to our mothers!
We are an oversensitive moral policing brigade. We are Shivsena…We are VHP….We are Bajrangdal. We cannot tolerate a Sania Mirza wearing a short skirt!
We are still debating whether sex education should be provided in schools.
We are a nation that is still ‘evolving’!

PROSTITUTION:
Is it a profession, a taboo, or is it something that we think only others sisters would do? Is it the dark filthy lane where you think your son, brother, husband, or father had never been to!
It is definitely something that exists and helps to transmit sexually transmitted diseases.
It not only gives a girl some easy money to buy herself exotic jewelry but also gives money to a poor mother to feed her child. It is something into which an innocent girl is forced by pimps. And it is also something that countries like Malasia do for tourism!
And since it is one or all of the above, it needs legalization for the following reasons:
1.To reduce sexually transmitted diseases.
2.To stop exploitation of prostitutes.
3.To earn in form of taxes and from tourism.
But what happens when the same is legalized in India?
It fails to spend on the HIV testing of the prostitutes. It also fails in bringing in a proper infrastructure that requires a lot of planning and money.
Secondly, the prostitute does not get the dignity of labor in a society like ours.
Infact , many more innocent girls are now forced into prostitution without pimps having any fear of being caught, since it is now legal!
Thirdly: Now come on! We won’t do it for tourism! That is so UnIndian!
See who goes to a prostitute- a married or an unmarried man( obviously!!there is no third kind of man Rupali;) )
In India both pre-marital sex and extra-marital sex are a strict no-no. Legalizing it will be like giving a moral approval to sex with someone else than you wife. And this India will never give because of its social structure and cultural values.
Everything that has the capacity to become an issue becomes one and gives us the opportunity to burn buses and effigies.
We are diverse, complex and sensitive. We aren’t ready for too many things yet. We have to learn ‘n’ number of things before legalizing ‘prostitution’!
We have to discuss, debate and resolve many other issues before we come to prostitution.
We have to learn to tolerate each other before we think of tolerating prostitution!

P.S: 1. All characters in this debate are fictitious and bear no resemblance to anybody living or dead! ;)
2. Special thanks to Sadaf, Sid, Deepak and Yashasvi who helped me prepare this write-up. Thanks a lot guys for your suggestions and ideas :).

The missing "wow"!

2008-08-13T01:41:00.001-07:00

Few days to go and I will be joining Iflex solutions( now Oracle Financial Services :)) in its Mumbai Office. I will be laving my place on 16th. All I do these days is to surf 99acres.com and hope that I chance upon some really cheap accommodation.. ;) I am being unrealistic I know.
Software is not exactly what I want to do or feel like doing. Nonetheless I will be doing this for quite some time from now. The industry is facing bad times and most of my friends are still waiting for their joining dates. I have been lucky that I had it on time. Moreover I am going to Mumbai and will now be able to compare Delhi and Mumbai, like most of the people who know both cities do. ;) And hey Meenal I am sure I would still be on Delhi’s side :)
But then, there is hardly any feeling of excitement. I am not even sad that I am leaving home or that the college has ended. As if what is the big deal!! This is something very predictable. It had to occur. Is it the predictability that makes me neutral?? But I remember being excited about coming into a new class in school…about seeing the same faces again in some new class….about facing the first day in college….When one of my favorite teacher left school when I was in class 7th , I wept hard and gave her a seven pages letter…;) The ability to feel the due excitement or sadness has vanished somehow now. All that I feel is “what is the big deal!! “:) After all, this is not the first time I will face a change.

But this is slightly worrying me. It is like even the good things seem like tasting an insipid coffee. You don’t want to lose the flavor of course….
Things are not making me feel like ”wow!”
This phase is boring when you are sad for nothing and happy for nothing.
Anyways not to mention there is a hectic schedule waiting for me out there and I might be absent from the blogosphere for some time. (not necessarily though :))
And if anybody has a pill to make me feel the “wow effect” please inform… ;)

Huh!

2008-07-23T02:09:00.000-07:00

I heard one of my acquaintances joking a few days back – “The costliest thing Manmohan singh has is Gulshan Kaur!
While the NDA was busy in mudslinging him and his party, the poor man kept his calm.
He could not even do the “Thumbs up” act properly when his thumb came back from halfway. The parliament was worth watching. The IPL, India-Pakistan match, cheerleaders, nothing could have beaten it.
‘Democracy’ we call it! Rahul Gandhi calls it our true power…that everybody can speak here. I hope he was just being sarcastic!(His speech was a breeze, though interrupted)
I remained glued to the television yesterday to witness the high drama, excitement, thrill and yes not to mention the versatile villains and vampires. The speaker, like a class teacher, used all sorts of verbal weapons. But the other side was immune. He called it shameless, expressed agony and used all sort of pejorative remarks in his own acerbic style. But the house saw no decorum and no respect at all! They were wild!
Any Indian who saw the political drama yesterday would have been seething with anger. If they are who represent us, we are doomed .And if people do research on how we have survived 60 years of democracy, there is nothing surprising. We are actually doing wonders!

P.S: Lalu should log on to monster.com. He is caught in the wrong job and should rather go in the laughter challenge.

Uncluttered :)

2008-07-16T04:47:00.000-07:00

I deleted all the conversations from my mailbox today….everything…the good….the bad….the best….the worst …without any partiality… It feels great . I bought few poster colors, few brushes and few sheets. And with nothing in my mind I just started drawing...I finally ended up drawing a few squares and a few absurd figures which I do not recognize. Then I picked up the brush and started coloring it. My mom found it a useless piece. She said “You are drawing like a kid!”. “That is what I wanted to feel like for now”- I said.

P.S: Gmail says- “No conversations in the Trash. Who needs to delete when you have over 2000 MB of storage?! “ But believe me, it is still advisable to throw the garbage!

Nothing much..;)

2008-07-10T23:58:00.000-07:00

There are two reasons why my blog remained dormant for such a long time:
The idea of stepping out of the house, walking a kilometer to the nearest café, waiting in a queue for half an hour and then posting something here appeared preposterous!
Secondly and more importantly I had nothing to write. ;)
Yeah…I tried …looked at ceiling through the rotating fan….out of the window…from the balcony…but nothing ‘philosophical’ came out of it. ;)

There are few reasons why I am blogging :
Most of my friends who blog have been doing so religiously.
I fear losing the 1 or 2 readers I have.
Sid asked me to do so!
Sid also had nothing to write but still managed to write two post out of ‘nothing’ ;)( to verify go to- sh-ithappens.blogspot.com ;))

Why we should still write when we have nothing at all to write?:
When you have nothing to write, you actually write about ‘nothing’. ’ Nothing’ is in itself a great word. Nobody knows it, but everybody uses it.
You see someone quiet and upset, and ask him “Hey what have you been thinking?”
He laconically replies” Nothing”.
You scrap a friend “hey what’s up? Howz life? Blah blah…
He replies back-“nothing much…u temme..” ;)
You write a mushy SMS to your boyfriend and wait for a deserving reply and he replies ”Nothing”.
You see, ‘nothing’ has the power to end it all and nothing has the power to start it again!

Why should you read it?
Well you already read it. So I guess you don’t need a reason anymore ;).

Sid I did it too!!! Yuppie!! ;)

I take it.. :)

2008-03-04T06:16:00.000-08:00

I have always been loved and liked a lot….may be because we were three people in the family and I was the only kid!...in school too I was liked by teachers as well as friends......I hated not been liked. If anybody spoke anything against me or gave any hint of disliking I would sulk in acute depression.
The bottom line is that I was unable to take any sort of criticism.
But thankfully college provided me a few people who by and by actually started disliking me to the extent of hating me, for reasons which are beyond me.
And now finally I have actually learned to take it all…I am thankful to these people from the bottom of my heart for feeling so strongly for me. ;) ;)

The only call of the season...

2008-02-25T02:40:00.000-08:00

There is more to write about the talkative Indians. But before that I would like to post my recent GD/PI experience at IMT. For those of you who are curious ( ??) to know my CAT results, I must tell you that all I had this year was an IMT Nagpur call. Expecting to get a 95-97 percentile and a score of 19-28 in English, I was surprised to get 4 marks :). All I got was a 90.01 with a low verbal i.e 38 percentile. CAT says I am bad at English. I disagree though ;). XAT was a relief with 96.4.
But then as I said the only call I had was from IMT Nagpur. I did not take it seriously and did no preparation. But the day before the GD/ PI, I was worried. Converting it will not be a matter of great happiness, but not converting it will make me feel too bad.
I reached IMT Ghaziabad, changing autos, quite on time. I was not feeling very comfortable in the formals because I borrowed them from a junior and they were quite loose for me. Two things I learned were - wear your own clothes and carry a deodrant!

The GD started at around 2 p.m. There were 3 people in the panel – one from KPMG, one from IT, and one lady from commerce background. There were 10 people in the group - 4 from commerce, 1 from arts and others were engineers. They gave us time to interact before the actual GD started. The topic for the GD was – Consumer is the GOD of today’s market. I did decently in the GD, though not outstandingly well. It was followed by a monologue for 1 minute which I kind of screwed. I fumbled as I started and till I warmed up and recovered, the man in the panel rang the bell! They asked us to write a summary of the whole thing in 5 minutes.
Then came the interview. Here it goes:

I1: You played national level in badminton ( thanks to U.P.T.U for conducting that sport event and granting me a national level certificate ;)). Why didn’t you choose sports as career?
Me: (felt like he he ha ha…) Sir, sports as a career option is not too promoted in India.( as if had it been so I would have become the Shariapova of badminton ;) )Moreover, it was a mixed doubles match, so the credit goes to my partner too.( I am modest)
I1: But since you were also a part you share the credit too!
I2: Are you placed? Which company?
Me: Yes Sir. I am placed in I-Flex.
I2: You have a low verbal score. Why don’t you devote some more time and efforts this year? Why MBA at this point?
Me: Well, sir being a girl I have to take care of lot many things. I want to do certain things before my parents want me to do them.
I1:(laughs) that is a smart answer.( looked convinced that I don’t want to give CAT again!)
I3: Ohkkk…so what is your take on women managers?
Me: Maam, to be honest, I sometimes wonder how will I strike balance between my work and family. My mother says that it is rather important to find a suitable guy than doing an MBA. But I think I can perhaps leave my job if my family suffers, but I cannot leave the degree at this point of time. This is something I will possess for life.
I2: (nods) yeah…so the degree will be a permanent asset…
I3: (smiles) And the guy wont be a permanent asset!!
Me: (smiling)
I2: Rupali, but why suddenly MBA after your B.Tech.
Me: It isn’t sudden at all Sir. Infact whether it was school or college I was always managing things. I worked for this literary society in college for 3 years and now I am its president. I was also the Head girl in my school. I was always doing n number of things simultaneously!
I2:Your academics aren’t too good.
Me: That is because I was too involved in other activities. Infact the drastic fall you look in my 2nd year marks was because I participated in everything possible in that year!( Oh no…he didn’t notice it before…he didn’t even ask me....why did I say this at all! And I won’t stop here.:)) I was playing badminton in may be Agra or Bareily or may taking part in a ramp show!
I2: so basically you had fun :)
Me: ( yeah you are right…I was actually having fun). I think I learned a lot from all that.
I1: But management is all about multitasking. This is no excuse.
Me: Sir, I agree. You can look at my third year marks. I eventually learned to manage and got a decent score again.
I1: Your role in GD was too confusing. You made 4-5 good points but you were never able to steer the direction of the GD to your side. What do you have to say about that?
Me: Yes, probably I wasn’t able to steer the direction of the GD but never in the GD did I feel that I was not involved. Infact , when I was not speaking I was actually consistently listening to what others said. Moreover, I was geographically well located ( they smiled) and therefore I was kind of serving as a bridge!
I1: so you blog…What do you blog about?
Me: Sir, I blog about abstract things….about what I see in my daily life…for example it can be something related to how people converse in a passenger train.
I1: What will you write about today’s GD?
Me: I will probably write about the informal promises that were made before the GD started that we won’t make it a fish market. The calm faces of the people made me wonder if they will speak at all. But as soon as the bell rang, they sprouted with ideas!

There were few more questions I do not remember. But they seemed happy with me. Even if they do not select me I think they enjoyed the conversation, and not to mention, I enjoyed it too.
Oh I didn’t tell you about this guy from bangalore who was sitting next to me in the GD. He was fantastic in the GD. I went to congratulate him for his performance which resulted in a further conversation and much more…..I will write about it in my next post which will be a continuation of “Being talkative”.

Being talkative!

2008-01-23T06:53:00.000-08:00

(Me: Is there any other way to reach there? I don’t mind if it is longer!
X:Yeah… you can take a bus, but that will consume a lot of your time. )
See, I can run after DTC buses, change buses, go to places I have never been earlier… But sophisticated things like a metro with doors that open and close themselves send jitters into me.
But then there is no other option today. I will have to use the ‘great’ metro. I am worried. Last time I travelled in a metro was with a friend who managed everything while I kept wondering why I was so bad at reading maps.
Anyways, here comes bus no. 355. The conductor is shouting – ‘bags under the seats…’ Within sometime the narrow aisle will be jam packed with passengers rubbing with each other. Only thing that will be in your mind from now on will be that howsoever close they are, you still have to ‘somehow’ manage to take yourself out.
It wasn’t that difficult for me though. Four years of college are enough to teach you certain things.
Oh yes, I am confident. Barakhamba to Rajeev chowk, Rajeev chowk to vishvavidayalay…just two metros and I will be there. I will also take help from the map. In worst cases I will ask someone. This has been a technique I have always been using to find places. But even that is not again a very comfortable option for me, especially when someone replies something like – go straight, when the third red light comes, take a left , then take a right from the second red light and then blah blah…. I pretend as if I will remember verbatim was is said. But inside I say to myself – Rupali, go straight, reach the first red light and ask someone again.
Hey, by the way, it wasn’t difficult at all. I am inside the metro!
………………………
……………………….
The day was good and I am waiting for the metro at vishvavidayalaya to go back. “Excuse me, what should I do to reach New Delhi station”. I turn back to find a south Indian guy clad in saffron. His voice is quite a whisper. Perhaps, he does not want anybody else to know about his ignorance. But then to be true, someone asking such a question that too in a metro station is certainly an honor. I can not understand what he wants to convey though and therefore I will better direct him to a girl who is looking more familiar with the place.
All three of us- the ‘guy’, the ‘gal’ and me are inside the metro. The guy is sitting next to the girl. The girl is all dressed in pink…pink shirt…pink lipstick…pink hand bag, pink hairclips. I am not able to make out what exactly they are talking. He is explaining something to her and she is nodding. Suddenly she looks at me and mutters “ Who the hell is he?”. She again turns towards the pundit.
Hey the guy is gone and I will talk to the pink girl now.
Me: (smiling) How was it?
PG: kahan phansa diya the yar…chat mara pundit ne!
Me: My station is about to come. Tell me what he was talking about.
PG: He was from Sri lanka…came to meet his friend from Chennai and got lost…
By the way, how come you are here?
Me: You are talking as if you know me from ages. Anyways I came here to collect my admit card for fms.
………..
………..
Me: I am travelling in the metro by my own for the first time.
PG: So you aren’t any better than the pundit.
Me: You seemed interested in the pundit. Anyways, nice meeting you Lovleen!
PG: same here Rupali.

Indians are talkative. The can talk at practically all places and all times, with or without any good reason. Travel in a daily passenger train and you will know!
An elderly woman is telling somebody that she buys milk at 20 Rs per kg. Suddenly this skinny woman, sitting besides her, waiting for an opportunity to interrupt, will say with utmost pride“ I get it for only 15 Rs per kg” . This very ‘numerical’ conversation will then shift to how she always bathes in cold water even in winters without a miss or how she is always alert so as to never let her little son piss on the bed.
The other woman will then nod in appreciation and will even encourage her by pointing to how modern women use ‘huggies’ for their children. They will now discuss in ‘detail’ how ‘suffocating’ huggies can be to children and can lead to ‘further’ problems. While this desultory conversation keeps shifting, there will be a group of men busy talking about how far the crossing is, how many sugar mills the area has and what is the ongoing price of ganna, or how far the road is from the railway line.

To be continued……..

City of Angels

2007-12-04T10:15:00.000-08:00

What's it like?
What?
Warmth.
It's wonderful.
If you'd known this was going to happen...
...would you have done it?
I would rather have had...
...one breath of her hair...
...one kiss of her mouth...
...one touch of her hand.
...then an eternity without it.
One.

The 'NIGHT'...

2007-11-17T09:41:00.000-08:00

So I am blogging....I am blogging on the night before CAT...not for any other reason but because I have nothing else to do....yesterday my mom called to wish me, because she didn't want to disturb me today(???) :)...
" so are you prepared?" she asked.
"No" came a terse reply.
" o..how will you manage in a day then!!" (mom).
I smiled and said "mom, it cannot be managed now!".
And then we both laughed.... :)...for the past 4 or 5 hours i have just switched off my cell to avoid all the "best of lucks".....sorry guys...had to do that else everytime you wish me luck, I feel I have to go on a war tomorrow.....
Apart from this CAT stuff things are going pretty fine...there is no backlog of movies....enjoying some good music...chatting with friends....sleeping...orkutting...blogging....dreaming..dreaming of doing this and that....dreaming of being at places....dreaming of making it big....and yes waiting..waiting for this B.tech to get over...there is not much left here to learn.. he he...
Anyways, i guess I should sleep now.... guys all the best for tomorrow....

P.S - This a sheer piece of crap....

2007-11-09T23:53:00.000-08:00

It could be just anything that makes you smile ....it can be the silliest or wierdest thing..like the one liners written at the back of a truck.....apart from the usual ones like - 'horan pelease' and 'buri nazar wale, tera muh kala', here is one more I saw yesterday---
'latak mat, patak dunga! '

Not dumb anymore!

2007-11-06T09:19:00.000-08:00

There is a lot of silence around me. Most of the people in the hostel have left for home to celebrate diwali. I am kind of enjoying this time.
I enjoyed the small chat with sadaf, in the mess, today. She told me about her childhood days, how she missed her grandma after she died. She was eight and a half then.

My childhood was the best period of my life till know and I guess will always remain so. And now when I look back at that time, I laugh upon myself and wonder - Omy God! What a dumb child I was….

We lived in an old government quarter with walls that were painted yellow. It was located in a farm with all those fields planted with ‘barseem’, ‘sarso’, ‘ganna’ and yes ‘munji’. The time they planted munji was the best time because that time the field was watered most. It was like a pseudo-little-river for me…..

Naniji would make me sit near her and study while she cooked food on her ‘chulha’.
All my attention would remain on the wood that was burning inside.. :)
To escape studies I sometimes hid behind the same ‘chulha’. Naniji made a song out of it.—
‘lado beti ladli..
chulhe peeche gadli…
jab ji chaha nikal li…’

These village songs…rather folk songs you call them…I have heard a lot of them. I still hear them from her.
I was in class fourth…we had a dance competition in our school. I cursed both of them for not buying me a ‘tape recorder’. ‘how do I participate now?’ I shouted. Naniji came with an instant solution. She taught me a folk song which was something like---

‘gazar ka halwa laya mera piya…..’

I sung it myself and danced on it while everybody laughed on me. :)
But I still believe I was the best…. :)
When ‘teez’ came, nanaji would make a ‘jhoola’ exclusive for the cinderella that was me….and while I enjoyed the swing both of them would sing the ‘teez special’---

‘ kachhe neem ki nimboli, saawan jaldi aiyo re…
dada door mat bihaiyo, dadi nahi bulane ki….
Mama door mat bihaiyo, mami nahi bulani ki…
……
……
……
And I would desperately wait for the line—
Nana door mat bihaiyo, nani nahi bulane ki….

Nanaji called naniji by her name 'shiksha'.
And I used to think that every man in this world calls her wife as ‘shiksha’. I never knew it was her name. I mean she was ‘amma’! thats it!..why did she need a name!
(it was much later that I was ‘informed’ that I was just too stupid!)

And yes that poor old black and white 36 years old television that introduced me to vyomkesh bakshi...potli baba ki…vikram betal….alif laila …I loved them all…..

When we got a phone connection I was given the privilege to make the first call. I called my friend just to know if she has taken my ’50 paisa’ pencil with her!
I was so enthusiastic every small thing that was brought into the house.
I was the happiest person on earth when we got a refrigerator. After all I would not rush with that 25 paisa coin to buy that small piece of ‘burf’ for my ‘rasna’.
That was my little paradise..and was the only princess… :)
I thought I was the most beautiful girl on earth. And when I came in class 5th I strongly felt that I should be take to a ‘parlour’ instead of the ‘local nai’.
And I hate that sick teacher who failed me in poem recitation. I mean how can you fail someone in that small an age!...i was just in K.G then!
(* That was the only time I failed before coming to college!)

ahh…I guess I can write pages on that….

Now I keep telling them that I have grown and matured…I have learned the ways of the world and stuff like that…
But they strongly believe that I was too dumb to improve….
They think their child is the most innocent girl on this earth. I was dumb..alright..but come on…I have come a long way now….see I have my own view points about things..i can argue with them now…I have started liking english numbers…wearing branded stuff….using orkut….i am socially more active then they were at my age!...those folk songs…home stiched frocks….plastic hairbands….they all form a long lost story!....

But then I still miss those fields…the old chulha…the black and white television…the tainted mirror….the yellow walls of the government quarter….and everything that made me dumb!...... :)

2007-11-03T00:42:00.000-07:00

These days I desperately want to hear that jagjit singh's ghazal i heard long back....

kyun dare zindgi mein kya hoga.....
kuch na hoga to tazurba hoga!

Contemplate is the word!

2007-10-28T02:58:00.000-07:00

You stuck in a stalemate??
Choking eh??
Unhappy?
Talk to somebody.
What? Doesn't help?
Talk to few more people!
Still doesn't work out?

ummm....
Stop!
Stop talking!
Stop running after people!
Relax!
yeah..you can be happy...
Look at the sunshine...
warm eh ??
Play your favourite number...
hmm...dancing again :)
crack that old poor joke...
lauging out loud??
Good.

Well now look inside...
o o...that needs immediate treatment...
Take a deep breath...close your eyes...Remember all good things in life....
Feel at peace....Calm??
Hey look..its there!...happyness!..how dumb of you...It was there at the first place...
You just needed to contemplate!
And hey love yourself before you love anybody else....
Good luck! :)

Just another conversation….

2007-10-09T06:50:00.000-07:00

Me: I am bored of being at the same place for almost three and a half years now. Humans have created a strange conventional world. How can they give 25 yrs of their life to studying! And everybody is following the conventions is even more strange.

XYZ: (happens to be one of my female friends) yeah…Don’t you think old times were good? Girls were not taught. They were happy with what they had…with marriage…family…

Me: smiling.

XYZ: You know what…my sis is expecting. I said to her that she should enjoy now...you know…marriage, family…kids…she said – “ you become unhappy when you know what you deserve and you know what you deserve when you study! “

Me: When my grandma talks about how some girl is happy with his hubby( because he earns a decent amount…has a flat…blah blah) I am surprised. When I tell them that for me most important thing is having my space in life and having the wavelength match with the guy, she is surprised!...

XYZ : Yeah…we have set patterns…we have strong likings and dislikings…point of views… so ultimately all of us will be unhappy in a marriage!
I guess I won’t make my daughter study much. She will have a better life…

Me : yeah…send her to some arts school or somewhere where she can just have fun and grow….

XYZ : B.A it is…

Both smile and go to our respective rooms….

I am tagged!

2007-09-19T08:29:00.000-07:00

Hey I have been tagged by siddhartha( sh-ithappens.blogspot.com).

How it works:-

1. Players start by posting 8 random facts about themselves.
2. Those who have been tagged, must post these rules, along with their 8 random facts.
3. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them, that they've been tagged.

Hmmm...8 facts about me :

1. They say "yesterday" was the first day I reached college on time in the past three years. And guess what - They are right! ;)

2. When I do something with interest I become so engrossed and lost in my own world that I will not listen to the most tempting gossips and important orders. I will infact block all the voices around me and you may have to try real hard to get me back. My mother says this came from papa. Papa feels too degraded when i am compared to him(???). He says i have all from my mother.

3. I have been brought up by my maternal grandparents(mind you affection was the sole reason :)).

4. I am extremely fond of hot chochlate fudge. And you better not disturb while I eat it with my eyes closed and making sounds like umm...

5. I like making stuffed parathans and making people eat them too :).

6. I think I might die by a road accident. I get jitters on seeing speeding vehicles.

7. I was a very confused child. For example I was always confused why one-ways are called one-way when it has two roads and two-way is called a two-way when it has only one road. I can be disastrous when it comes to directions and reading maps.

8. I appreciate subtle and witty humour but I enjoy silly humour. If you are using toilet jokes, illogical comedies, look around I might me laughing out loud somewhere. :)

And yes, I tag Anchit, Shikhar, Prakash, Rahul, Arpit, Varun sir, Nikhil sir and Manas.

The Random Number

2007-09-18T03:20:00.000-07:00

Colloquial seminar....we are a group of four speaking on mobile cloning....I am explaining the authentication process in CDMA devices -
'..there is a network and a mobile terminal..Both of them contain an ESN no. and an A-key....The network generates a random number that combines with the other two elements and is fetched into CAVE algorithm to generate a SSD number...blah blah blah....At the end of the presentation a question pops up -
"How does the network generate the RANDOM number?"....
"RANDOMLY", I said....'

Ahem....

2007-09-12T02:51:00.000-07:00

I am looking out of the window of the DTC which will take me to morri gate.....Some big names out there - SAARC Disaster Management center.....WHO.....and hey that looks like a slum!

I am a bad poet.. :)

2007-09-07T02:33:00.000-07:00

After reading the previous post one of my friend told me that I am a bad poet and I almost instantly agreed :)....
Anyways those who read my last post should read the comment I got on that. I couldn't stop laughing on that one...I am putting it here so that you do not miss it :

Hey thats really nice,.
i tried along the same lines
i feel like a dog!,
i am barking..you are afraid
i come forward to bite you-
And you run away!!

now howsthat??!! Heheee..

I feel like.....

2007-09-06T05:23:00.000-07:00

I feel like the rain drop,
I am falling,
you are spattering and sploshing.....
I am rising,
you are capturing....

I feel like the snow ball,
I am freezing,
you are holding and moulding...
I am falling,
you are catching.....

I feel like the wind...
I am blowing,
you are breathing and feeling...
I am whirling,
you are watching.....

I am back! :)

2007-08-29T06:11:00.000-07:00

Those of you who were missing me badly(???) on blogosphere and were waiting for me to come back(oh really!) will be happy to know that Rupali is back!.. :)
It was a long break...no! i wasn't bereft of ideas...i was just waiting for people to come back to hostel after the holidays so that they could share the cost of the internet with me :)...infact i penned my thoughts many a times...but carelessly left them to go to the dustbin...or for deepu(my small cousin) to paint his aeroplanes and blue skies....
so now that i can afford to have the world at my table, i am sure you will see more of me on blogspot! :)

"Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free."

2007-04-12T03:15:00.000-07:00

Hey Shikhar...thanx for suggesting this movie to me..Though honestly speaking it wasn’t your suggestion that made me watch the movie…:) But then, there was nothing to do and one of my roommates had saved it on my system without me knowing ….I hardly have the patience to give my thoughts to a ‘movie’ for three continuous hours…I sometimes start watching a movie and stop doing so even before the story actually begins…sometimes I do watch it half….I mean it has to be really good to keep my attention….
After I watched the whole movie and advised everybody I met to watch it , I was amazed to realize that it managed to be brilliant without a female starcast!….no typical love making scenes….nothing that you wont believe…nothing that you won’t understand…but the message it carried….the simplicity with which it narrated a beautiful story of ‘hope’…..and not the mention the awesome piece of acting done by Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins could not have been better….
Here goes some of the excerpts from the movie( I loved them)…have a look…

** Red (Morgan Freeman): They send you here for life and that's exactly what they take.

**
Red: The first nights the toughest. No doubt about it. They march you in naked as the day you were born. Skin burning, and half blind from that delousing shit they put on ya. And when they put you in that cell, and those bars slam home. That's when you know it's for real. Whole life blown away in the blink of an eye. Nothing left, but all the time in the world to think about it.

**
I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singin' about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I like to think they were singin' about something so beautiful it can't be expressed in words and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared, higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away. And for the briefest of moments, every last man at Shawshank felt free.

** Andy: My wife used to say I'm a hard man to know. Like a closed book. Complained about it all the time. She was beautiful. God, I loved her. I just didn't know how to show it, that's all. I killed her, Red. I didn't pull the trigger, but I drove her away and that's why she died - because of me, the way I am.

**
Lord! It's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind….

**
Andy Dufresne, who crawled through a river of s--t and came out clean on the other side. Andy Dufresne, headed for the Pacific. Those of us who knew him best talk about him often. I swear the stuff he pulled. Sometimes it makes me sad, though, Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.

** Red: I find I'm so excited I can barely sit still, or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at the start of a long journey who's conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope

** Red: Rehabilitated? Well now, let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means...I know what you think it means. To me, it's just a made-up word, a politician's word so that young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and have a job. What do you really want to know? Am I sorry for what I did?...There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. And not because I'm in here or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then. A young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him. Tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone. This old man is all that's left. I gotta live with that. 'Rehabilitated?' That's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your forms, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit.

I hope that is enough to motivate you to watch this movie…
Enjoy!

......

2007-04-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

You are there for me, I wanna know....
You care for me, I wanna know...
When I walk in the darkness, will you walk beside me, I wanna know....
I love you with all that I have, do you love me for that, I wanna know...
Do i matter?
How would I ever know?
How would I ever know?

Life is good....

2007-01-30T09:40:00.000-08:00

Each time you will lose something they will say with an air of wisdom “ Life is good…”.
And when you hear this, take my word you are learning more, growing more….
Each day you overcome that ache inside you, you realize that life is good….
And one day you will start loving that one corner of your heart that ‘aches’.
After all it has taught you so much…to let go…to move ahead…
At times you tend to derive a strange sadistic pleasure out of those low moments….
a pleasure of ambivalence….
And in your trials and tribulations you find yourself, the one who is calm and deep, one who introspects and retrospects, one who forgives and forgets, and the one who knows that ‘ Life is good…’

For posterity.....

2007-01-19T02:15:00.000-08:00

Hey! don't you dare say that you do not recognize me. After all you had been practising me for so long. I was passed into your blood from generations. I have become indispensible to you...
Remember the silence that prevailed in your house when you were born as a girl....
How you were taught to adjust and compromise, to forgive and sacrifice.....
You were tortured and used, harrased and killed, molested and raped.....
But you should not grumble Afterall you were always in 'demand', penned and praised, worshiped and idolized….
I was there in everybody who did this to you….

Remember, how you were taught by your parents that “Truth is supreme” and if you lie the boogeyman may pick you or God may not bless you with ice-creams and chocolates.
And you were so imbecile to believe ‘them’, those who later on taught you the contradictory lessons of being ‘worldly-wise’ and ‘self-interested’. It’s the ‘survival of the fittest’, they said.
It was then that I started creeping into you. You then kept turning the pages of your childhood innocence and learnt the newly added chapters of prudence and never looked back.

Remember, how your father taught you that ‘All men are equal’, ‘God is one’ ‘Respect all religion’….
You obsequiously imbibed all that he said. After all he was your ideal, your hero, who was always right.
And when you wanted to marry that decent, nice guy you loved, your father refused because he worshipped some ‘other God’.
Oh no! please do not blame your father for all this. It was me who forced him….

Remember, how one single prince was saved. The whole country came to a standstill suddenly. All hands joined together to pray for him, all eyes were constantly glued to the television sets till the little prince escaped from the gallows of death.
Take my word, even more than forty killings in Nithari would not match those TRP’s . The media should be thankful to me….

I have been a way of life. I am religious too, albeit secular. You can find me at all religious places, with little effort. Some even find me synonymous to religion.
You call me ‘hypocrisy’ with love. Whether it was your home, your school, your society, your country, I was always there in my macro and micro forms.
I am somewhat like humor, clever, quick, contemporary….
You had been learning my nuances for so long. I was there when you loved me. I was there when you hated…
And now you blame me of contaminating you!
Instead I will sue you for contaminating me. I occurred in purest forms. You contaminated me, distorted me to uglier, incognizable forms, as per your requirements, every now and then.
I have now become your age old tradition, your cultural heritage and you are obligated to save and preserve me…save me for posterity…..

What is the point?

2006-09-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

Everything has a point or rather should have a point. If the universe originated from 'nothing', a 'point 'must surely have succeeded. A 'point' comes after a 'nothing' and 'nothing' comes after a 'point'.
Confused? So am I. This point has always baffled me and I have been constantly asking myself questions like ' What is the point?'. But let me try to explain. we try to search for a point or a sense of purpose to remove the pointlessness in our life, but what worries us more is the pointlessness that follows after the point is reached.
It has been years when our geometry teacher taught us how a fixed point is necessary to draw a circle. And yes it has been years that i have been searching for the same point about which my life could revolve.
There are times when you have to face 'it'. They call 'it' as 'a deafening silence'. This deafening silence is not just an oxymoron but is strangely palpable. It brings you to a pointlessness and then you start wondering if 'pointlessness' is the only 'point'. It has been long that i have been wondering that 'what is the point?'.
There are many like me who ask this question to themselves daily. But this has to remain unanswered, for if it is answered than what is the point?
I am amazed how a 'point' can be so important that people keep searching for it throughout there life. I amazed how a 'point' can lead you from the infinitesimal to the infinite. I am amazed how a 'point' can take you to another 'point' and you could thus move on a continous graph of life. The infinite is full of points but then you have to search your's and complete your circle....

Tea is not my cup of tea!

2006-07-18T00:53:00.005-07:00

That might sound an odd title to start my first blog with...But since that is what may reveal to you why 'i m nostalgic', i will surely go ahead.
I am a person who gets attached to anything and everything. I have a certain nostalgia for my childhood days. No wonder i am greatly attached to my maternal grandparents who brought me up. I relate my life, my very existance with them. They made me what i am. They taught me all lessons of patience, honesty, culture and life.
I could still remember how my nanaji(my grandpa) rode his old bicycle to a nearby village in heavy rains just because i was 'feeling like eating mangoes'. He was all wet and shivering with cold when he gave me that most delicious mango i ever had in my life...
I could still remember my amma(grandma) giving me imlas(dictations) so that i do not rank low in class. She was very strict when it came to studies. That is more than one can expect from someone who had only had her primary education!

I still remember how they both heard all the non-sense that i uttered after coming to school. Nanaji remained very worried about my low grades in maths. He used to take me with him to the garden. While he did his gardening he used to hear from me all the tables, prime numbers etc that i was supposed to know.

I still remember the day when he bought me a new bicycle and ran after me when i rode it so that i do not fall. He gifted me an alarm clock on my birthday and said "Its very important to be punctual and value time". (Though i could never become punctual as he wanted me to be:))
I still remember how amma would make 'gajar ka halwa' and 'til ke laddoo' on my birthdays(and she still does it without a miss) inspite of having a severe backache.

I still remember how she allowed me to talk to guys despite her strong disliking. She is much of a narrowminded person or rather we have a 'two generations gap' between us. Still she never stopped me from anything that was out of her realms of transgression.

I still remember how they never called me when i went to college so that i may learn to live without them.
I still remember how they boasted in front of all relatives and aquaintances how i never spoke a lie, how well mannered i was, how nice chhapaties i made, how i had never tasted tea.....
They felt a certain sense of pride when they told others that i have never even tasted tea. And somewhere inside i also felt the same kind of strange pride. Whenever someone offered me tea i simply,bluntly said "I do not drink tea. I have never tasted it, you see...."And true enough, i never tried to taste tea and i never wanted to. Even three years after leaving home i never thought of tasting tea because if i taste it, back home my nanaji and amma must still be saying to someone "she never drinks tea. She has never tasted it you see..."
Tea, certainly is not my cup of tea!